I Wish They Could Figure Out a Way to Make Biofuels From Candy Corn. I Hate Candy Corn.

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In response to my previous post, Growing Food to Feed Cars Will Continue to Drive Up the Price of Food, one reader responded, “I wish they could figure out a way to make fuel out of Candy Corn.  I hate Candy Corn.”  Well said reader, that is one hell of an idea.   

Fueled by my own dislike for this impostor candy, my love of the environment, and an earnest desire to make sure that no child ever has to experience the pain of receiving this “candy” during the Halloween season, I did a little research on the market potential for cars fueled by Candy Corn, a “Feasibility Study”, if you will.  At first glance, it seems like a win-win; energy independence, no more disappointed Trick-or-Treaters, and a captive market for Candy Corn producers around the world. 

First step in the process, trying to gain an understanding of the existing Candy Corn market.  In my extensive research, I discovered that more than 35 million pounds of candy corn will be produced this year.  That equates to nearly 9 billion pieces, enough to circle the moon nearly four times if laid end-to-end.  75% of the candy corn produced will be consumed, or at the very least handed out to unhappy children by elderly homeowners, during Halloween.  Interesting.  It appears as if there is no shortage of supply, seems promising so far. 

Now, a brief look at the automotive market.  This data was slightly harder to quantify.  As of 1997, there were 600,000,000 cars on the road.  1997 was a good year by all accounts, so I am comfortable with this data.  Now that we have all of the data we need on the cars, let’s drive this baby home.

With 600,000,000 cars on the road and 9,000,0000,000 pieces of candy corn, that means that each car must be fueled by 15 pieces of candy corn.  “Impossible”, you say?  I don’t think so.  We put a man on the moon and I will be damned if we can’t figure out a way to get 10,000 miles per candy corn. 

Get to it engineers and entrepreneurs, make us proud.  Do it for the planet, do it for your country, and most importantly, do it to save all those kids from the pain we felt each Halloween as we eagerly approached the door, only to be welcomed with a candy that tastes like plastic/vomit. 

I know it’s early, but Happy Halloween!

Photo Credit: By e is for ericka via Flickr’s Media Commons

12 thoughts on “I Wish They Could Figure Out a Way to Make Biofuels From Candy Corn. I Hate Candy Corn.”

  1. Great article, but I think you overlooked one critical item on the supply side of candy-corn….kids have been hiding unwanted candy-corn for years. I estimate that there is at least a 30 year supply of candy-corn hidden under kids beds and stuffed in pillow cases in basements. This candy-corn stock pile could be the resource pool we have been waiting for.

  2. Great article, but I think you overlooked one critical item on the supply side of candy-corn….kids have been hiding unwanted candy-corn for years. I estimate that there is at least a 30 year supply of candy-corn hidden under kids beds and stuffed in pillow cases in basements. This candy-corn stock pile could be the resource pool we have been waiting for.

  3. I’m sure studies would show the half life of candy corn would allow for long term stockpiling of this commodity. It’s already well known and recognized internationally. I have noticed variations of the typical “white-orange-yellow” version. I wonder what effect these alternative color variants may have.

    Thanks for sharing this obviously well thought out and thoroughly researched concept. And for the record, I kind of like them. So I would reap twice the benefit of having them around.

  4. I’m sure studies would show the half life of candy corn would allow for long term stockpiling of this commodity. It’s already well known and recognized internationally. I have noticed variations of the typical “white-orange-yellow” version. I wonder what effect these alternative color variants may have.

    Thanks for sharing this obviously well thought out and thoroughly researched concept. And for the record, I kind of like them. So I would reap twice the benefit of having them around.

  5. Rob-
    Thanks for having such a great sense of humor. Definately no disrespect for candy corn, all in good fun. Thanks for reading the article.

  6. Rob-
    Thanks for having such a great sense of humor. Definately no disrespect for candy corn, all in good fun. Thanks for reading the article.

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